SORRY
. . . TEMPORARY PROBLEMS WITH FORMATTING ON THIS PAGE. |
| GRAND MANAN
"Once
a Grand Mananer . . . always a Grand Mananer." - Fudd Guptill |
| Although I left Grand Manan in
1975, I will always refer to myself as being from Grand Manan. Grand Manan residents
should be aware of the ongoing education we 'Off-Islanders' have to
provide to the unenlightened. For instance ... when I'm asked where Grand Manan is
located, I generally take the following approach: |
PERSON:
BIM:
PERSON:
BIM: |
"So, where is Grand Manan?"
"Well ... do you know where Canada is?"
"... Yes ..."
"Well, Canada's right off the coast of Grand Manan. You can't miss it." |
| Now bear in mind, my wife is an
American citizen. As a result, I'm not into 'American-bashing.' However, I
have to say, the above conversation differs when talking with someone from the United
States: |
AMERICAN:
BIM:
AMERICAN:
BIM:
AMERICAN:
BIM: |
"So,
where is Grand Manan?"
"Well ... do you know where Canada is?"
"No."
"Well, it's the big pink country on top of the USA and Grand Manan is its'
capital."
"Really? I have a friend who lives in Canada. Maybe you know him ... Bob?
"Oh, Bob ... yeah, Bob died." |
| While enjoying a handful of dulse
amidst a crowd of curious onlookers, the following conversation could take place: |
PERSON:
BIM:
PERSON:
BIM:
PERSON:
BIM: |
"What
are they?"
"Well ... IT'S an edible seaweed from Grand Manan. IT'S called
dulse"
"Can I try them?"
"It's an IT."
"Really? ... Hmm ... they taste fishy ... blauoughrlphh ..."
"You'd better clean them puke up." |
| Some are amused by the name:
'Grand Manan.' If only people realized how tired I am of this conversation: |
PERSON:
BIM:
PERSON:
BIM: |
"So, where did you say you were from?"
"I was born on Grand Manan."
"Grand BANANA!?! HA, HA, HA! You're a Grand BANANER!! HA! HA!! HA!!"
"... yeah ... ha, ha, ha ..." |
| With their friendly reputation,
Maritimers seem less apt to insult people about their home town. However, if I were so
brazen, the conversation might go something like this: |
BIM:
PERSON:
BIM:
PERSON:
BIM: |
"So,
where were you born?"
"I was born in Belleville."
"SMELL-ville!?! HA, HA, HA! You're from SMELL-ville!! HA! HA!!
HA!!!"
"Hey! ... I'm telling Steven Harper!!"
"Doesn't he live in SNOTT-awa?? HA! HA!! HA!!!" |
| And then they charge me with a
hate crime and sue me. |
